I predicted it

I lost my shit last night.  I have not been that angry in a very long time. 

Yesterday I marched with the cadet group in a massive St Patrick's Day parade.  It was a long day and I was nervous about what kind of mood D would be in when I returned home.  In the days preceding the parade I tried to convince her to go with me, but in the end she chose to stay home.  I clearly expressed my concerns about how she would react to me going and how I worried she would be resentful.

"D, are you sure you want  me to go?  I don't want you to be upset with me.  I don't have to go."

"No, you should go, I will be fine"

At 4:00 I sent her a text that the parade had just ended and that my phone battery was dying.  She said she was fine.  At 7:00 I sent her a text that I was heading home and she started melting down.  I explained to her how we had to get from the parade end point back to the North End, we had dinner, then I had to wait for parents to pick up their kids.  But she wasn't listening.  The rest of the night got progressively worse and by 11:00 her bags were packed and I was trying to get her to understand that we may not recover from her walking out. 

"Do you think you will just come back and everything will be ok? If you walk out that door it means that you are throwing away thirty years of marriage.  Don't think that everything will work out if you put me through this.  I don't know if I could recover from that level of pain."

She doesn't trust me.