This morning I took 15MG of adderall and at this moment am enjoying a peaceful moment. I like my job and feel intellectually challenged with a high degree of interest and motivation. I would welcome the opportunity to socialize with others and I feel generally content.
I expect this will last for a few hours then I will be back to my miserable self. Perhaps this afternoon I will again indulge myself with some additional artificial joy.
I am not looking for euphoria. I simply would like to feel the passion, interest and motivation that will help me to live a life worth living. I suppose the very act of looking for what I am missing is positive. Let's hope that I can find that elusive screw in need of adjustment.
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Middle-aged, married with 2 kids but feels like he's still 17... Mostly dark musings and commentary on life.
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- Dirk
- Like Kevin Spacey in American Beauty, came alive a few years back and now I am living life. Unlike Kevin Spacey I did not end up with a bullet in my head.
3 comments:
Have you tried yoga or tai-chi? I know my question sounds stupid, but whenever I get really, really down in the dumps, or whenever I am feeling lost and in need to find myself, I immerse myself in exercise and meditation. The highs that you can experience during a physical workout beats any drug or pill out there. It's natural and self-induced and there's no greater feeling than that.
Just a thought...
Good luck. I would definitely say that your looking is a good thing.
Life is good. It's the little things that are best to concentrate on I think. I think they give us the most joy.
I work out most days and try to meditate when I can. I agree that a natural high is much better then one induced by drugs. Just seems like I am not getting better though.
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