PTSD

I have seen multiple therapists over the years in attempt to improve my mental health.  Some have been more helpful than others.  Yesterday I had my first visit with my new therapist (DH) and after describing my symptoms and providing her with a brief history of my life she asked me if I have ever been treated for trauma.  "Trauma?" I asked with a perplexed look on my face.  "I have never experienced trauma so no, I have not been treated for it".  "Dirk, your experiences as a child were in fact traumatic and your symptoms are typical for people that suffer from PTSD" DH said. I leaned back in my chair and considered what she was saying.  "I like her" I said to myself.  All my life I have been looking for that elusive "adjusting screw" that would allow me to tune my life to "normal".  Maybe this is the opportunity I have been seeking for so long. Maybe I am fixable.

I am under no illusions that my life will get better or easier anytime soon.  I am facing almost insurmountable challenges but I am incredibly fortunate with more then ample opportunity to become a better man.

Today I don't prefer death over life.  I think that is progress.