Yesterday, in effort to reduce waistline and expenses I sacrificed my morning coffee shop routine. Instead, I was relegated to ground coffee from a bag and a french press. The coffee was adequate but I missed my comfy chair in the morning sun.
In my last post I revealed my intention to resign from the youth group after I took the kids to last weekend's training. However, the CO has indicated his willingness to compromise on some issues and he sincerely expressed his desire for me to stay. After considerable thought and lengthy discussions with my son we have decided to stay with the unit for the time being.
The weekend was great and B performed well. During the training B committed one minor offense with some other cadets but when asked to take responsibility for his actions he was the only one out of three to raise his hand. I am very proud of my boy and I am lucky to be his Dad.
My brother called me Friday after disappearing for a week or so following his eviction by his roommates. I put him up in a motel and notified his friends of his whereabouts. Last night I should have gone to visit him but I was stuck in Clickerville. Today I feel badly about my selfishness and hope to do better.
J was working on an old snowmobile last night trying to get it started. I recognized the opportunity to spend some time with him helping to troubleshoot the old sled but chose to cling selfishly to my isolation instead. Is there someplace where one can purchase selflessness? I so want to break from my lazy routine but I often just don’t have the energy or desire. I expect more of myself and will redouble my efforts to put others ahead of myself. It is so easy to blame my complacency on my depression but I must live the life that will make me proud when I look back upon it. Every day that I ignore J I distance myself from him and increase the possibility that he will succumb to the influence of drugs or other risky behavior.
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