Lost Blog

Rats... I somehow lost the latest blog entry I created this morning. I often sit in the coffee shop and type it out on my little smart phone keyboard. However, I think it is worth recreating although I hate doing so.

This past weekend was great! We took the cadets out to a confidence course for an overnight trip and graduated our newest class. Everything went really well except CO was really hard on my son B, as he was in charge of training for this class. At one point B was completely melting down with tears and frustration. I did my best to comfort him and advised him to talk to the CO privately about his concerns. Later, the CO expressed to me his concern about my consoling him and I basically told him to fuck off. I went on to tell him that my son was more important then any bullshit protocol and that if he didn't like it we would both quit. CO is a very good friend of mine but I felt it was important to be clear in my intentions. He left Sunday morning for a previous engagement and took with him most of the anxiety and tension circulating in the unit. I ran the kids through the confidence course with the instructor and a great time was had by all.

I have been very lucky in that I have enjoyed a multi-week period of time wherein I have been spared the pain of any significant depression. This causes me to think about my responsibilities more often as I am freed from the excuses resulting from my low emotional state. Today a middle-aged woman that appeared to be homeless or possibly in transition, sat down in the comfy chair next to me at the coffee ship. I felt compelled to engage her in a conversation but held my tongue. If she had been a younger, attractive woman I would have already been talking to her. I am a pathetic excuse for a modern day man. Shallow and judgemental, I should be sent back to prehistoric times when men picked their woman based on physical attributes and child bearing ability. I finally screwed up the courage to blurt out "Cold out there today". It started a short but interesting conversation that I shall not soon forget. Maybe I am starting to move into the modern era.

The word for today is "discern". I shall endeavor to use it in my blog within the next week.