One needs closure to move on from any situation where one is hurt. The best closure includes the party that was involved in, or contributed to the pain. Absent that, it is very difficult to move on with uncertainty hanging in the air like a unseen odorless gas waiting to suck the air from your lungs. At some level, I dared to hope for something that could never be. As the reality of the situation sets in, I can feel my heart harden as I remind myself that we are carbon forms that act on instinct and any illusion of a spiritual connection is nothing more than a malformed electrical connection in my utilitarian brain.
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