Goodbye A

A is home and she is not the girl that left three months ago.  I knew I was right when I counseled her not to join the Marines.  She has become like a robot with no feelings.  She clearly suffers from PTSD resulting from her experience at boot camp.  I can't imagine what will happen when she gets deployed if she is involved with combat.  This is so fucked up.  I am overwrought with anxiety.  She hardly talks to me now.  I am just a civilian and civilians are disgusting with no purpose.  Yep, they really rewired her.  Her boyfriend who went to boot camp at the same time appears to have suffered some type of brain damage.  His speech is slow and he hardly moves his mouth.  It almost seems like he got a concussion or something. 

So it is time to say goodbye and move on.  My new mantra is "I am in control of my emotions".  I have to focus on what is truly important in my life and let the other bullshit go.  It is so true that happiness is tied to desire as the Buddhists believe.  I can see it in my life but I ignore it instead of re-framing my thoughts and desires.