Sunday I went up to North with J. We started with coffee in our favorite northern NH town, did a little shopping and sight-seeing, then went for a moderate hike. We enjoyed a free lunch (courtesy of one of his friends) and I had my first fish taco with was fabulous. The conversation flowed easily and we both enjoyed our day. It was nice to spend some time with him.
I continue to act irresponsibly on a couple of different fronts and I am really beating myself up. I just can't find the motivation to work more and manage my finances properly and I am fiscally irresponsible which makes my financial situation even worse. I am not living my life in a manner that reflects my core belief system which makes me feel weak. I am going to take steps to change this.
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Middle-aged, married with 2 kids but feels like he's still 17... Mostly dark musings and commentary on life.
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- Dirk
- Like Kevin Spacey in American Beauty, came alive a few years back and now I am living life. Unlike Kevin Spacey I did not end up with a bullet in my head.
1 comment:
It's a hard, vicious cycle and difficult to get out of it -- knowing that you have to change certain things about yourself doesn't make it any easier. Most people "fix" themselves for awhile, but then revert back to their old ways. I wonder what it takes to stay on track?
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