This morning I am blatantely fucking off. First I lazed around the house till 10:00, then I took the jeep to the coffee shop located in the college town a few minutes from my house. Now I am sitting outside, drinking my latte, squinting my eyes in the bright sun trying to read my laptop screen. It is homecoming weekend at the U, so the town is crawling with alumni. I was lucky to get a table outside.
B is coming home this weekend. I hope we can do something together while he is here. I still miss him very much. I am somewhat living vicariously through him, but he does not share a lot of details about school other then cross country.
I wish I had attended college. It would be nice to have a bit more knowledge, but mostly, I would have enjoyed the experience. I have friends, but I don't really "belong" to anything. Unfortunately, I often abandon opportunities to "belong" to something when I become deeply depressed and my insecurities overpower rational thought.
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