The past few days I have experienced stress-inducing deviations in my routine; indications of the OCD that lurks just below the surface of my seemingly "normal" persona. Yesterday I went out for a run at lunchtime, planning to run my regular six mile loop around a beautiful island, only to encounter a closed bridge within the first 500 feet. I was quite annoyed at the obstruction but I turned around and ran half my loop counter-clockwise, which felt very uncomfortable; although I did enjoy the completely new view of the island from a fresh perspective. Today I am sitting at another coffee shop in the town square as my favorite java stop is currently being renovated and has been closed all week. Fortunately the latte's here are good and the atmosphere is pleasant; I do miss the morning crowd at the other coffee shop though...
The past two Thursdays I have attended a workshop called Alpha which is described as "... an opportunity to explore the meaning of life in a relaxed, friendly setting." It is about introducing people to Jesus Christ and the Christian faith. I am not a practicing Christian, (although I live my life generally according to Jesus' teachings except for the "only through Him" thingy) but a very good friend of mine is a pastor at the church sponsoring this course and I am attending largely to appease him, but also to meet new people and discuss issues important to all of us such as "exploring the meaning of life". The attendance has been a bit sparse but I am enjoying the meetings so far. Last night I pointed out to the group that if one of us was invited to a meeting where the discussion centered around life, family, friends, community and the pursuit of all that was good, we would be inclined to attend. However, if we were also told that you must believe that Jesus died for your sins, and that the only path to God is through him, we would be less interested. It seems to me that we are divided by semantics created by churches attempting to fill their pews. I find it hard to believe that a loving God would turn me away because I didn't read, and or believe the fine print.
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Middle-aged, married with 2 kids but feels like he's still 17... Mostly dark musings and commentary on life.
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- Dirk
- Like Kevin Spacey in American Beauty, came alive a few years back and now I am living life. Unlike Kevin Spacey I did not end up with a bullet in my head.
1 comment:
Did you feel uncomfortable running counter-clockwise because your normal pattern is to run clockwise? It's interesting to read this, because I thought I was the only one with "quirky" patterns. I have the typical OCD behavioral patterns where I have to do things in a certain manner or pattern, and if I am unable, I become extremely stressed.
I tend to stay away from groups because I am afraid of becoming involved with cult-ish organizations. Not that I am saying this one looks like one, but my feeling is that a group is supposed to make you feel good about yourself. Groups that make me feel guilty about myself, for any reason -- well I just don't need that in my life. I can feel guilty all by myself, thank you very much. =]
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