Etta James is playing in the background as I write this posting from my favorite coffee shop. Her soulful voice reflects my somber mood as does the cold drizzly day. Even though I am feeling low, I am very fortunate to have people that I can commiserate with as I know many do not and they must process their emotions without the benefit of an empathatic ear.
I keep playing back all my decisions regarding J in my mind trying to ascertain if they were good ones. I know that if I had pushed him a little harder he would have completed his community service on time. If he had completed his community service, his previous lawyer (an excellent one) had agreed to represent during his recent brush with the law. But I felt that he had to make these decisions on his own than live with the consequences. But I never imagined that the consequences would be this severe.
D and I have been at each other lately. We are both very stressed about this situation as well as some other challenges we are dealing with. I am such a giving person but I have been struggling with finding time for my own wife lately. It is just easier to help other people sometimes.
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