I am somewhat envious of a fellow blogger that is experiencing a high degree of sadness and grief following the passing of his mother. I can feel the pain and despair in his writing and I empathize with the hardship that he is experiencing.
My envy stems from the poor relationship I had with my Mom. The blogger I am speaking of was fortunate to have such a loving relationship with his Mom. I did not love my Mom and I was pretty emotionless when she passed. She was only this person in my life that occasionally performed motherly functions. Following years of therapy I have forgiven her and I bear no significant ill will towards her. She was a product of a difficult life and she did the best she could.
I often wonder how my older son will regard me in later years. I try hard to be a good Dad now but we went through some difficult times where I was less caring, patient and tolerant than I should have been. Will he recognize that I did my best?
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