The coffee shop I sit in this morning is not my usual one. I have a call in the college town north of my home so I deviate from my normal routine. Two scholarly-looking gentlemen are sitting at tables drinking coffee while reading and writing. One of them seems more intent on writing on his yellow lined pad while the other thumbs through a copy of Physics Today. It is raining outside so I am relegated to an inside perch although it is one of the best, right in front of the large glass window. Music that sounds like a mixture of George Winston, Abba and Joni Mitchell is irritating the hell out of me. The coffee is mediocre at best but my morning glory muffin is very good.

Last night my very good friend was hosting a party that I did not attend. He sent me a couple of texts asking if I was coming that I did not receive until this morning. Instead I stayed home in Clickerville wasting time away. I considered going but apparently the opportunity did not generate enough "reward" chemicals in my dysfunctional brain. I remember feeling uncomfortable at his last party and while consciously, I desired the human interaction, I was once again drawn to the vacuous dribble that temporarily relieved my tortured mind from the pain of reality and responsibility.