I have recently been thinking about A; probably because it is becoming warmer and I am encountering memories that bring her back. She quit the Marines some time ago and is back in the area but we never communicate. The friend that I was so fond of is no more and it pains me to be around this person that I don't know. She has made some attempts to contact me over the months but I keep my responses brief, showing now interest in any kind of relationship.
I miss my friend though... My heart aches when I allow myself to be swept up in the emotions that lie around every corner. Memories thrust themselves at me with no regard for the pain they inflict. I do have fond memories as well, but it is better that I try to put our past behind me. I miss her so much... I think about the scientific biophysical process that is causing me so much angst and while I recognize my intense emotions are a result of biochemicals swirling around my brain, they are no less intense. I wish I'd handled our relationship differently. Perhaps we could be friends if I had.
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