Gotta go, good bye

This morning at 5:35 I received a text from R - "Gotta go.  Good bye".  And so ends a chapter of my life I shall never forget.  She was so special to me in so many ways.  Her mood could quickly shift from giddy happiness to fierce anger to withdrawn sadness.  In my mind, I watched her grow from a girl to a woman in just over a year.  I just feel numb today.  I know that the reality of her departure has not hit me yet and I have some dark times lying in wait for me.  I have to refocus my mind, work on improving my life.  I have to break out of this fucking malaise and throw myself into a self-improvement challenge.  My standard response to something like this is to wallow around in self-pity depressing not only myself but those around me.  This time I will stand tall and follow the advice I gave R; "When you become sad about what you don't have, refocus your energy on what you want".