Raising J

"How many of hours of community service do you have left to complete?" I asked J as I drove him to work.  I don't normally like to have difficult conversations with him before he starts his work day, but I am quickly heading into panic mode with March 31 (the last day for him to finish his community service) looming in about two weeks.  "I have 28 hours left" he replied.  I know he did not do any community service this past weekend and I am really pissed about it.  "J, I am going to lose my mind" I said in an exasperated voice.  "I am literally going to have a nervous breakdown because you are making a really bad decision and you will be going back to jail" I continued.  He sat there without saying anything.  I could see that he was pissed but I didn't care anymore.  I had to shake him into reality so that he would realize how incredibly stupid he was acting.  "Dad, I have a plan; I will get it done" he said.  "I assume your plan is to work for the Park/Rec dept?" I asked.  "What if they manager is on vacation next week?  What if he can't give you work?  What if you end up in the hospital because of your back?  Your cutting this way to close and your risking your freedom for... for...  what?" I sputtered.  At that I shut up and pulled into the gas station so he could get his coffee.  When he got back to the car I was quiet for a few minutes then I said quietly "J, I just don't want you to go back to jail".  We drove in silence for a few more minutes then I asked him some questions about work to try and get him back into a better frame of mind before we arrived at his worksite. 

Recently I had a conversation with D about adopting an older child.  Perhaps I should rethink that...