“I feel like I've been in a coma for about twenty years. And I'm just now waking up.” (Lester Burnham, American Beauty). All my senses are heightened ( especially libido :) and even the smallest things give me pleasure. However, like Randle Patrick McMurphy (One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest), I fully expect my current blissful emotional state to pass; but I am ok with that. I will revel in the moment. I am suddenly very passionate about everything I do. And the coffee; OMG, it tastes so good and the caffeine buzz is extra strong. I do feel very irritable at times, especially at home, but I keep reminding myself that if I constantly bitch and obsess over the small things, I will drive everyone around me nuts and will be back on meds that much sooner.
One other note; I love D and will never do anything that could destroy what we have built over the past 25 years. Besides, I recognize the meaningless nature of the three minutes of pleasure I would trade for a life of regret. It comes with maturity and emergence from the cave.
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2 comments:
No, it comes from society and small-minded thinking. It comes from following social norms. It comes from thinking that life is too stagnant to be rebuilt in your forties. Also, 3 minutes is foolish. Something like that lasts far longer and can revive one's soul. Fin.
Ultimately, none of those few minute encounters are ever worth it.
Working hard to rekindle and remain in a solid relationship is worth it.
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