I am not doing well today. Motivation continues to elude me and I am in a really foul mood. Work remains a challenge as I cannot concentrate and my productivity sucks. I hope I am feeling better soon as Saturday D and I are taking a bus trip to Manhatten with her office.
When B was younger he expressed interest in moviemaking and said he would like to be a director or producer. I have always encouraged that interest and even bought him a high-quality video camera; but alas his interest never progressed and the camera is rarely used. The NH Film Festival is taking place this upcoming weekend and I asked B if he was interested in attending some of the workshops or premiers. He said yes but when we tried to schedule something he already had plans with his girlfriend. I am trying not to be hurt. I am trying not to be angry. I am really trying not to be vindictive. I am really, really trying to appreciate how incredibly lucky I am to have such a great kid for a son. It isn't about me; it is about him. I cannot lose site of that.
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Middle-aged, married with 2 kids but feels like he's still 17... Mostly dark musings and commentary on life.
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- Dirk
- Like Kevin Spacey in American Beauty, came alive a few years back and now I am living life. Unlike Kevin Spacey I did not end up with a bullet in my head.
1 comment:
It's hard. Sometimes I just want to wring Rach's neck but I have to remember that she is exploring.
My folks gave me every opportunity to explore my interests. I appreciate that even now and when Rach shows interest in something I try to give her the opportunity and not be disappointed if she ends up not being as interested as I am.
Like sandblasting. My art expression. She thinks it's cool I do it but she doesn't want to.
Ah well.
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