I drove my jeep into town for the first time since last fall. I spent all day Sunday performing repairs on her so she would pass inspection which she did. I really enjoy driving the jeep and today was a great day to do so.
We received approval yesterday from the local Marine Reserve Center authorizing us to start a new cadet group operating out of their facilities. Now I am waiting for approval from the cadet group's National offices. I am feeling a bit schizophrenic about this new venture... When I think about working with the kids, I get very excited; when I think about the adult BS and politics, I become a bit tentative.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Just a day
I feel a little off today. I am not in a bad mood, but feeling a bit irritable.
A, our yellow lab, has been limping badly so I will likely have to take her to the vet today.
Last night I went mountain bike riding with a group of guys. I did very well other than some mechanical issues.
A, our yellow lab, has been limping badly so I will likely have to take her to the vet today.
Last night I went mountain bike riding with a group of guys. I did very well other than some mechanical issues.
Friday, July 18, 2008
Back at the lake
This morning I am writing this blog entry while sitting outside the coffee shop up at the lake. Elissa, the barista working this morning, brewed me a great mocha latte. Yesterday we experienced severe thunderstorms with torrential downpours. At the time, I was en route to the new Cabellas store in Scarborough leaving B and his cousin to weather the storm at the campsite. They did a great job securing the gear from the rain.
Today is change-over day so the little two-lane causeway in front of me is choked with traffic in both directions. Half the people are excited to start their vacation while the other half likely feel sad that their vacation is almost over.
Last week D and I attended a wake. Kneeling in front of the open casket, my mind raced as I anxiously questioned my belief system. I genuflected out of respect for the woman I knelt before and bowed my head as if in prayer. "Should I be concerned about my unwillingness to believe in a god that punishes people for their lack of spiritual faith" I asked myself. I barely knew the white haired woman lying before me clutching a rosary in her hands. "It is just a cold lifeless body" I thought to myself. "Why am I so anxious?" Perhaps looking death squarely in the face causes one to question his mortality and what, if anything, awaits him in the afterlife.
Today is change-over day so the little two-lane causeway in front of me is choked with traffic in both directions. Half the people are excited to start their vacation while the other half likely feel sad that their vacation is almost over.
Last week D and I attended a wake. Kneeling in front of the open casket, my mind raced as I anxiously questioned my belief system. I genuflected out of respect for the woman I knelt before and bowed my head as if in prayer. "Should I be concerned about my unwillingness to believe in a god that punishes people for their lack of spiritual faith" I asked myself. I barely knew the white haired woman lying before me clutching a rosary in her hands. "It is just a cold lifeless body" I thought to myself. "Why am I so anxious?" Perhaps looking death squarely in the face causes one to question his mortality and what, if anything, awaits him in the afterlife.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Life is STILL good
Sunday we visited J in the county jail. He appears to be doing well and we had an excellent visit. He gets out this Sunday morning. Two weeks is not a long time but it feels like an eternity.
I am heading up to the lake tomorrow with B and his cousin. We will spend a few days wake-boarding and snorkeling. My next blog entry will likely be created from the coffee shop down on the causeway. I plan to spend a lot of time up at the lake this year.
I met with the CO of the local Marine Corps reserve center and he all but agreed to host the new cadet group that I am considering starting. If all goes well, we should be up and running within a couple of months. It will be quite a benefit to drill with actual marines. The unit that we will be stationed with is a hardened unit with many of the soldiers having served in Iraq and Afghanistan. I expect they will have some sobering stories to share along with a wealth of experience.
I continue to enjoy good emotional health and I am hopeful it will last at least through the summer. I have been exercising a lot lately, sometimes twice a day, and I am down to 200 lbs. I can actually see a bit of a 6 pack emerging. Not bad for a 40 something mid-lifer. I am convinced that the protein powder I have been taking has had a positive influence on my mood as well. Last night I went mountain biking for the first time in 8 years. I used to be a mountain biking addict before the depression set in.
I really feel like I am starting to live again. Let’s hope the other shoe does not drop anytime soon.
I am heading up to the lake tomorrow with B and his cousin. We will spend a few days wake-boarding and snorkeling. My next blog entry will likely be created from the coffee shop down on the causeway. I plan to spend a lot of time up at the lake this year.
I met with the CO of the local Marine Corps reserve center and he all but agreed to host the new cadet group that I am considering starting. If all goes well, we should be up and running within a couple of months. It will be quite a benefit to drill with actual marines. The unit that we will be stationed with is a hardened unit with many of the soldiers having served in Iraq and Afghanistan. I expect they will have some sobering stories to share along with a wealth of experience.
I continue to enjoy good emotional health and I am hopeful it will last at least through the summer. I have been exercising a lot lately, sometimes twice a day, and I am down to 200 lbs. I can actually see a bit of a 6 pack emerging. Not bad for a 40 something mid-lifer. I am convinced that the protein powder I have been taking has had a positive influence on my mood as well. Last night I went mountain biking for the first time in 8 years. I used to be a mountain biking addict before the depression set in.
I really feel like I am starting to live again. Let’s hope the other shoe does not drop anytime soon.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Very hard day
Yesterday D and I stood in shock with tears rolling down our face as the sheriff escorted J out of the courtroom. While we had expected this to happen, it was still unbelievably painful to experience. “I love you Dad, I love you Mom” J blurted out just before the door closed behind him. He was 18 but in so many ways he was just a little child.
Now we faced another difficult task. We had asked our lawyer to arrange a meeting with the victim’s family so that we could express our condolences for their loss. “I can’t do it” D said looking up at me sobbing. “It is what you would want if you were in their place” I replied. I was beside myself with grief but I knew we had to speak with the family. Our lawyer had advised us for legal reasons not to contact the family or in any way apologize until the trial was over. Now it was time to tell them how sorry we were. “I will go first’ D said as she squared her shoulders and marched into the room. The family was waiting there and D began to tell them how sorry we were. She talked about her family and how close they were and how she could not imagine how horrible it must be to lose a family member. When she was done I also expressed my sympathy. “I drive by the scene of the accident every morning and afternoon. There is not a day I do not think about what your family must be going through.” When we were done, they thanked us and wished us well telling us that our words meant alot to them.
Overall the hearing went as well as we could have expected. The judge accepted the plea arrangement and J will spend two weeks in county jail. As long as he behaves for the next two years, we will be done with the legal aspect of this tragedy. The victim’s family spoke at the hearing and while they are understandably angry at J for their loss, they made it clear that they believe that J was given a gift. He should live his live in a manner that honors the victim’s memory. “Maybe you can share your experience with other kids” one family member said. They all made it clear that J should make something of his life. I hope he takes their advice to heart.
Listening to the family speak about the loss of their father, brother, uncle or son was gut-wrenching. I had compartmentalized my feelings about their loss; instead, focusing on helping J over the past two years. I learned the victim was the same age as me. I did not know that until yesterday. Somehow he seems more human now and their loss more profound. We all have much emotional turbulence ahead of us and I hope that everyone finds their way safely.
Now we faced another difficult task. We had asked our lawyer to arrange a meeting with the victim’s family so that we could express our condolences for their loss. “I can’t do it” D said looking up at me sobbing. “It is what you would want if you were in their place” I replied. I was beside myself with grief but I knew we had to speak with the family. Our lawyer had advised us for legal reasons not to contact the family or in any way apologize until the trial was over. Now it was time to tell them how sorry we were. “I will go first’ D said as she squared her shoulders and marched into the room. The family was waiting there and D began to tell them how sorry we were. She talked about her family and how close they were and how she could not imagine how horrible it must be to lose a family member. When she was done I also expressed my sympathy. “I drive by the scene of the accident every morning and afternoon. There is not a day I do not think about what your family must be going through.” When we were done, they thanked us and wished us well telling us that our words meant alot to them.
Overall the hearing went as well as we could have expected. The judge accepted the plea arrangement and J will spend two weeks in county jail. As long as he behaves for the next two years, we will be done with the legal aspect of this tragedy. The victim’s family spoke at the hearing and while they are understandably angry at J for their loss, they made it clear that they believe that J was given a gift. He should live his live in a manner that honors the victim’s memory. “Maybe you can share your experience with other kids” one family member said. They all made it clear that J should make something of his life. I hope he takes their advice to heart.
Listening to the family speak about the loss of their father, brother, uncle or son was gut-wrenching. I had compartmentalized my feelings about their loss; instead, focusing on helping J over the past two years. I learned the victim was the same age as me. I did not know that until yesterday. Somehow he seems more human now and their loss more profound. We all have much emotional turbulence ahead of us and I hope that everyone finds their way safely.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Saving gas
This morning I sit outside my favorite coffee shop enjoying a mocha Frappuccino with an extra shot. I am in a great mood after riding my bicycle into town today. I am also happy that I avoided Clickerville last night and finished assembling my welder instead.
J informed me yesterday that he will be moving out in August. He and his girlfriend are moving into an apartment with another couple. I wish I could give him the benefit of foresight because I know how this will end. However, it is good for him to learn this lesson and get it out of his system.
B told me that his going to give up basketball because he just “isn’t good enough”. I told him that if he wants to play basketball, than he should play. He does not necessarily have to be the best. He is attending basketball camp and is having a tough time because he has not played in many years.
Monday J goes to court and we have a plea agreement with the prosecuting attorney. As long as the Judge approves the agreement, we will be done with legal aspect of this horrible tragedy.
J informed me yesterday that he will be moving out in August. He and his girlfriend are moving into an apartment with another couple. I wish I could give him the benefit of foresight because I know how this will end. However, it is good for him to learn this lesson and get it out of his system.
B told me that his going to give up basketball because he just “isn’t good enough”. I told him that if he wants to play basketball, than he should play. He does not necessarily have to be the best. He is attending basketball camp and is having a tough time because he has not played in many years.
Monday J goes to court and we have a plea agreement with the prosecuting attorney. As long as the Judge approves the agreement, we will be done with legal aspect of this horrible tragedy.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
