Posts from the Ocean

Today I am writing this post while basking in the brilliant sunshine at the edge of the Atlantic Ocean. I watch as the sea repeatedly thrusts itself upon the broken rocks, tearing away bits of shattered stone as it retreats back to the depths from whence it came.

Last night a friend invited me to a men’s meeting at his church featuring former NFL player Don Davis as the keynote speaker. Overall I enjoyed the evening but I became increasingly uncomfortable later in the meeting. I began to feel guilty about my "sins" of commission and omission. "I don't believe in God" I kept reminding myself. I can remember a time when I not only believed in God but spent a great deal of time devoted to his word. However, at that point in my life when I was professing my faith in the Almighty through word and works, I was more depressed than ever before. Finally I left the church, turned my back on my religious beliefs and decided I would put my faith into my own abilities. I am now happy and reasonably satisfied with my life. If I am going to Hell because I don't embrace some particular religious dogma, then so be it. However, having said that, I am concerned that I feel guilt as a result of my “sins”. Perhaps I do believe in a creator that will one day judge me for the manner in which I have used the gifts he bestowed upon me. Life is easier as a non-believer. But the path to salvation is not meant to be easy; or so they say. Clearly I am confused and I need to carefully consider the very foundations of my belief system.