Stuck in the middle

I can look back at my blog history and clearly see that I am most prolific in my writings when I am either very depressed or very happy.  When my mind is dwelling somewhere in the neutral zone, I lose interest in writing.  Lately I have been very focused and quite productive at work and completing home chores.  I also exercise, spend time with my family and pick up the dog shit.  And, I attempt to mentor, guide and assist a few select people that are struggling with life.  All the things that I believe a good man should do.  The challenge that many of us face, is in accepting that we are not the Huckstables and will probably never lip-sync as a family; rather, we we will experience varying degrees of simple pleasures and not a lot of euphoria.  I think we often yearn for what we perceive is missing in our lives and ultimately pursue interests that generally sabotage what is truly important.  Real happiness is realized when one can accept and appreciate the simple things in life.

I know you are but what am I?

My neighbor, the one that testified against my son for entering his house without permission, apparently wants to be friends with me.  However, I am not interested in a friendship with someone that had a chance to help my son and chose a course that resulted in J spending 5 months in jail and branded him as a convicted felon for life.  I was at a mutual neighbors house on Saturday and he showed up.  "Hi D" he said as he walked up the driveway. I responded in a hushed tone "hi" and proceeded to walk towards my vehicle to leave as I did not want any involvement with this former friend.  He came around the back of my car saying "D, the problems I have with J don't have to come between our friendship".  I replied "You violated our friendship" as I opened the door to my car and sat down  in the seat.  "So that's how it's going to be he?" asked with a hint of disbelief on his face.  "Yes" I replied.  "Your an asshole" he said just before I shut the door.  There are so many things I wanted to say to that man but I certainly was not going to create a spectacle in my neighbors driveway.  So I said nothing and continued to drive away.  He doesn't want my friendship.  He wants my forgiveness which he shall never have.

Routine

This morning I dropped J off for his second full day of community service.  He says he likes the job and the people he works with.  He plans to work 5 days per week till the middle of May.  At that rate, he will complete his community service requirements before the summer starts.

Unfortunately J continues to struggle with rage-related issues.  He is having problems with his girlfriend as well as some of his friends and spends a lot of his time swearing and raging about stupid, pointless issues.  Last night he was having a tirade in our driveway at 10:00 at night.  I spoke with him about disturbing the neighbors and while he quieted down for a while, he soon returned to his ranting and raving.  I went to bed planning to talk to him in the morning.  I did have a conversation with him today where I tried to teach him about the damaging potential of self talk.  I also strongly advised him to put some distance between him and his girlfriend as their relationship was caustic and if he could  not check his anger would end up back in jail.  He shared some very disturbing information with me about how he considered acting out on some of his  thoughts in a brutal fashion.  I will make sure he discusses these thoughts with his therapist.

I am doing pretty well on all fronts.  Work has been incredibly stressful but I am taking it in stride and I have been highly productive.  I am maintaining a good balance between all my interests and I have been enjoying a good mood. 

Hirudo-what??

Friday I took my sister R to a medical appointment so that I could meet the doctor responsible for here ECT therapy.  I am not a fan of ECT as I view it as a barbaric treatment on scale with hirudotherapy.  However, after learning more about the treatment, and discussing it with R's doctor, I acknowledge that ECT is an acceptable alternative to suicide.  Prior to starting ECT, R spent weeks and sometimes months in mental health institutions. In recent years,  her "respites" have been have been much less frequent and considerably shorter in duration.  I will next meet with R's psychiatrist to discuss her medications and plans to ween her from ECT.  I will also meet with her therapist to learn more about her therapy plan.

I brought R back home with me and she spent the weekend with my family.  We hosted an Easter dinner that included two of my sister-in-laws and their families.  All in all it was a very busy weekend with considerably more "family" time then what I am used to.  Saturday I took J to a snowmobile hill climb.  Both of us really enjoyed our redneck selves.  I was especially thrilled with J's willingness to stick out the entire day fighting against his ADHD tenancies to move onto the next thing.